Wednesday, October 28, 2009
day one, alll timing was dragged!! school came late and all.. then it was turning dark but cadets still pitching tents!
then, eat dinner very late....nothing much afterwards...just doing my admin stuffs...
and, weilong didnt sleep so i slept lor! became a cam prey.hahaha!
dammit!
2nd day, was soo tiring. everything was in schedule... but only some other things that were soo concerned... haizz..
seniors don't like certain things so had to adjust here and there.
and, I just know how bad I am as a coordinator...because I didn't pay attention to whether my people know every single thing that's happening! It's something bad bcoz it was such a mistake that I didn't even know!
dammmnn sadd lahh.. seriously, my spirit was gone and I kept asking weilong wad happened, wad happened...and at that time I could not even think of anything..haiz. luckily I've got some of them to cheer me up to keep the camp going.
I sat wondering, if I don't move, how can the camp move? I couldn't possibly let others to run..coz that's what I was there for! So I couldn't break down or waste any time!
then got another thing happened! hrmm..but it was false alarm!
campfire was not bad...can be better!
Then, we weren't so communicative much as before.. I know, he knows. well,so I shut up!
As much as I tried to avoid him, the more I feel it's a need to talk since the camp is still on going! And, from there, I just do, whatever is best for the camp to be carried out! Even if I just feel I lost a support. seriously, my spirit went soo low.
then day3 was all abit rushing! coz need to finish everything by 11am!
hrmm...ntg much to comment..
was still in a cold-war state but just I didn't show..
I really didn't want this to happen but it just did.
I forced myself through to talk just for the sake of the camp.
Really, everything changed just like that!
now that, I really thought it was an unpleasant ending. I'd just like to keep it away from me.
I cried for that stupid thing he said.
haizzz....
what am I to do, dear God?
Just wanted to say I <33 you;
8:11 PM
Saturday, October 17, 2009
thinking 'bout her made me wanna go back
but i can't, i know just to see what i've lack
a little thought over somebody
but i know they don't really care now
i hope i might able to find him somehow
been on the web killing my sleep
searching for him and i don't succeed.
now i've had it allback to the story when my momma saw my fall.
i couldn't see herthe only thing i heard when i asked about her
is that she's gone
got 4, left 2, i know u do
coz lives in the hand of the Almighty.
we can't control what's ours without His guarantee
now we just need to think brighter
for us to be better
praying to Him is what that's matter
Only He knows what's best for us,
So we shouldn't make a fuss!
Just wanted to say I <33 you;
4:12 PM
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Hihi!
I was back from shopping with Mom just now Asar. Bought 2 polo-tee and a black pants!
hahahehehhuhu..
I tried to save as much as I can! and I buy things that are affordable...so, u have to survey shops first before buying! hrmm..
I soo wanna go to my niece's birthday party! But parents are going overseas. haiz...
These few days I've been stressing myself and been falling ill...
still stress though!
okay, I wanna watch "Tangisan Issabela" on Indosiar, Indonesia channel! hee!
love ya peeps, love me back!
Just wanted to say I <33 you;
6:14 PM
Friday, October 9, 2009
I still cannot return calls like how I usually do because I need to control my usage. Then if want use home phone also need make it fast later in case brother call, then another problem... haiz..
I think I'd go for public phone! I can use as much as I want!
Some more, I'm down with cold. Ytd was soooo damn cold! today slightly better and still, need to send my camp proposals to DY also took a long time from aftn till early evening! Attaching the TOO HUGE a file is purely madness..
Somemore, in the afternoon I want to steal time to call and do work also CANNOT! Mom was nagging at me everytime I sit to do my work. She expected me to help her with everything and even by having younger sister also cannot help... haizz..she can still sit at the sofa, eating and I was trying to finish mom's work fast so I can get back to my own work!
What can I do... Then, had late late dinner. And had late late medication.
now, to mom, i hope she gets better... haizzz.
Why got problemss arising at this climate???
Adakah ini ujianMu kepada hambaMu, ya Allah?
Berikanlah aku hidayahMu ya Allah..........!!!
Just wanted to say I <33 you;
10:20 PM
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Went to East Coast Park today to cycle with Marc,Justin,Anna,Pris and Michelle T!!!
I and Anna went there together took 76! hah!
A very nice weather today! haha!
so met with the rest and rented bikes!
cycled to nowhere then back!
the rest except me and anna headed back to different places for dinner!
that's all for the day!
and i woke up sooo late in the morning!!!! ergh!
Just wanted to say I <33 you;
9:34 PM
Friday, September 25, 2009
Yeah! Today I went out with Mom! She's cool! ahhaha! Had a lot of funny things happened lahh..
And, I really enjoyed my day...thanks to her!
Well, I asked her to knit and show me bcoz I've never seen her doing that before. heheh!
Then, helped her in kitchen and all...hrmmmz...
Just now, my thoughts were on him... He's gone and nothing I can do except to pray that he is fine out there...
I couldn't cry on the day he left. But now, I kept crying my heart out... sometimes at night... I dreamt of him...being with me, and tried to talk to me... Once I woke up, he's never there...and he won't.
I still remember, I put other things as my priority...and not him....
What was I doing??? Days before his death...he was asking where am I?? and answer he got was, I was busy with SCHOOL!
I had this dumb thinking that, he WOULD be fine and would be discharged soon...like he usually did!!! Astaghfirullah...
Do I even have the sense of humanity????
He was searching for me, for I looked alike as his late sister(my grandaunt), while he was hospitalised.
On that day itself, it was my best fren's birthday..I wanted to celebrate her bday,even though I know abt his condition. The night before, my mom asked me if I could visit him but I said her NO cuz I thought of visiting him nx wk or what...
But, during my lesson, mom told me...he could not hold on longer...and he's going somewhere. I asked her. go where?(see, what I was thinking??? I was thinking from ICU can go where?) Mom asked me again,"where else????" then I was, OH!
My senses came back and I hurriedly left the school,ran out to the roadside.(even had my feet fell into a mud)
Met my lil' sister, and Mom. We cabbed to hosp.
I saw my relatives at the chairs.. I quickly "salam" them all and went into the ward area.
My Mom told me to be QUICK. I stood beside him, and whispered in his ears, "Assalamualaikum,Tok. Ni Zizi. Maafkan zizi,ye" (Peace be Upon You, grandad.I'm zizi. Forgive me,ok.) -btw, zizi is my nick.
Then I kissed his forehead. And that's when I saw his tears started to stream down his cheeks. After that, my siblings also asked for forgiveness...
With him, there's only my siblings and Mom.
Then, Mom asked the four of us(me and siblings) to recite Yaasin.
So, we did.. During our recital, he opened his eyes and looked at us(2 of us at his left,2 at his right)
Then Dad also came in, with the rest of our relatives..(we still reciting)
Dad only helped in his syahadah...and I saw his tongue moved...
Towards the end of Yaasin, his breath becoming lesser and lesser.
Once we were done reciting, he also had his last breath few seconds after.
We called upon the doctor to check him. And they pronounced him dead.
My relatives were crying...
Now, I'm determined to work hard, and I REALLY wanna be with him, wanna see him in the next life. I won't let him down in everything I do.
hrmmm....it's too long if I'm going to continue..till here then.
So RMB, treasure those around you before you realise they are gone.
Just wanted to say I <33 you;
8:49 PM
Thursday, September 24, 2009
I watched "the girl who leapt through time", a jap anime. It was sooo nice till I watched from ytd night till today morning arnd 3am. haha!
Well, I woke up quite late and received a call from teacher.
Then I needed to go to YOG LC.
I took bus to AMK, then train down to Orchard.
Then I walked around ION first to have a look(my first time). Then went down to Far East, I bought some things there...
From there, I took bus down to the Learning Center.
AGAIN, primary 5 students. I think I am going to lose my voice very SOON. hahaha!
Then, back home, I ate a heavy dinner since I didnt had proper breakfast or lunch, with daddy!
I finally received photos of Nick Green!!!! omg!
Smtg happened during that time! haha! *if wanna know, ask me urself*
hahahgaga!
Well, ytd, invited guest was Syed Abdul Kadir, Spore boxer! hahaha! I didn't know it was him!
Me and Anna was wishing Michael Phelphs would make a trip down one day....huuhhuuu...
Just wanted to say I <33 you;
9:05 PM
